The Knife FallsThe Knife FallsThere is a park somewhere, with swings and a slide. It is much the same as every other park. It is only differentiated by the children who play there, the toddlers that are pushed there in prams, the teenagers who try their first cigarettes there. Night descends, and from one point of view something is lost in the park. From another point of view, something in the park takes its place where it has always belonged.A boy of about twelve is playing in the park. He is shuffling through the long grass at the borders, looking for interesting things. Recently, he has found several golf balls, magazines that his parents would not approve of and a dead hedgehog. The hedgehog had been used as a football, or possibly a golf ball to replace the ones lost in the long grass. The sky is the colour of peach-and-barley, and the boy is thinking of going home when he finds something Special in the long grass. He is too scared to pick it up, despite the way it glitters at him and m
Every Fanfic Ever WrittenTHE EXPLANATORY FIC(CHARACTERS do something interesting. CAMERA fades to black in the middle of it.)CAMERA: Well, I'm done here.AUTHOR: Like hell you are.THE BACKSTORY FICCHARACTER: Alas, I do not have much of a backstory.AUTHOR: Now you do!CHARACTER: ... hooray?THE BACKSTORY FIC, PART 2EXTREMELY MINOR CHARACTER: I have no backstory, no personality, and perhaps three lines of dialogue.AUTHOR: Well, we can't have that.THE MARY SUECHARACTER: I'm OOC.MARY SUE: I'm stereotypical.(Awkward moment.)CHARACTER: I love you.MARY SUE: I love you too, snookie-ookie-wookums.THE SELF-INSERTCHARACTER: Something is wrong.SELF-INSERT: I can fix it!(She does.)CHARACTER: You're very strong.SELF-INSERT: I can beat you all up!CHARACTER: You're fourteen.SELF-INSERT: And I can solve all your problems!CHARACTER: That's wonderful! We trust you utterly!THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FICCHARACTER: We won! It's over!AUTHOR: Like hell it is.